璇玑之心刃·冷血悍将-第120章

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‘I’m　a　little　confused；　but；　no；　nothing　is　wrong　that　I　know　about。‘
‘I　can　tell　that　you　…‘
Kelly　shook　his　head。　‘Don‘t　bother。　Whatever　it　is；　it　can　wait。　Just　relax　and　enjoy　the　ride。‘
The　first　gust　of　wind　arrived　a　moment　later；　heeling　the　boat　a　few　degrees　to　port。　Kelly　adjusted　his　rudder　to　pensate。　The　rain　arrived　quickly。　The　first　few　warning　sprinkles　were　rapidly　followed　by　solid　sheets　that　marched　like　curtains　across　the　surface　of　the　Chesapeake　Bay。　Within　a　minute　visibility　was　down　to　only　a　few　hundred　yards；　and　the　sky　was　as　dark　as　late　twilight。　Kelly　made　sure　his　running　lights　were　on。　The　waves　started　kicking　up　in　earnest；　driven　by　what　felt　like　thirty　knots　of　wind。　Weather　and　seas　were　directly　on　the　beam。　He　decided　that　he　could　keep　going；　but　he　was　in　a　good　anchoring　place　now；　and　wouldn‘t　be　in　another　for　five　hours。　Kelly　took　another　look　at　the　chart；　then　switched　on　his　radar　to　verify　his　position。　Ten　feet　of　water；　a　sand　bottom　that　the　chart　called　HRD　and　was　therefore　good　holding　ground。　He　brought　Springer　into　the　wind　and　eased　the　throttles　until　the　propellers　were　providing　just　enough　thrust　to　overe　the　driving　force　of　the　wind。
‘Take　the　wheel；‘　he　told　Pam。
‘But　I　don‘t　know　what　to　do！‘
‘It‘s　all　right。　Just　hold　her　steady　and　steer　the　way　I　tell　you　to。　I　have　to　go　forward　to　set　the　anchors。　‘Kay？‘
‘You　be　careful！‘　she　shouted　over　the　gusting　wind。　The　waves　were　about　five　feet　now；　and　the　bow　of　the　boat　was　leaping　up　and　down。　Kelly　gave　her　shoulder　a　squeeze　and　went　forward。
He　had　to　watch　himself；　of　course；　but　his　shoes　had　no…skid　soles；　and　Kelly　knew　his　business。　He　kept　his　hands　on　the　grab　rail　all　the　way　around　the　superstructure；　and　in　a　minute　he　was　on　the　foredeck。　Two　anchors　were　clipped　to　the　deck；　a　Danforth　and　a　CQR　plow…type；　both　slightly　oversized。　He　tossed　the　Danforth　over　first；　then　signaled　for　Pam　to　ease　the　wheel　to　port。　When　the　boat　had　moved　perhaps　fifty　feet　south；　he　dropped　the　CQR　over　the　side　as　well。　Both　ropes　were　already　set　to　the　proper　lengths；　and　after　checking　that　all　was　secure；　Kelly　made　his　way　back　to　the　flying　bridge。
Pam　looked　nervous　until　the　moment　that　he　sat　back　down　on　the　vinyl　bench　…　everything　was　covered　with　water　now；　and　their　clothes　were　soaked　through。　Kelly　eased　the　throttles　to　idle；　allowing　the　wind　to　push　Springer　back　nearly　a　hundred　feet。　By　that　time　both　anchors　had　dug　into　the　bottom。　Kelly　frowned　at　their　placement。　He　ought　to　have　set　them　farther　apart。　But　only　one　anchor　was　really　necessary。　The　second　was　just　insurance。　Satisfied；　he　switched　off　the　diesels。
‘I　could　fight　the　storm　all　the　way　down；　but　I‘d　prefer　not　to；‘　he　explained。
‘So　we　park　here　for　the　night？‘
‘That‘s　right。　You　can　go　down　to　your　cabin　and　…‘
‘You　want　me　to　go　away？‘
‘No　…I　mean；　if　you　don‘t　like　it　here　…‘　Her　hand　came　up　to　his　face。　He　barely　caught　her　words　through　the　wind　and　rain。
‘I　like　it　here。‘　Somehow　it　didn‘t　seem　like　a　contradiction　at　all。
A　moment　later　Kelly　asked　himself　why　it　had　taken　so　long。　All　the　signals　had　been　there。　There　was　another　brief　discussion　between　emotion　and　reason；　and　reason　lost　again。　There　was　nothing　to　be　afraid　of　here；　just　a　person　as　lonely　as　he。　It　was　so　easy　to　forget。　Loneliness　didn‘t　tell　you　what　you　had　lost；　only　that　something　was　missing。　It　took　something　like　this　to　define　that　emptiness。　Her　skin　was　soft；　dripping　with　rain；　but　warm。　It　was　so　different　from　the　rented　passion　that　he‘d　tried　twice　in　the　past　month；　each　time　ing　away　disgusted　with　himself。
But　this　was　something　else。　This　was　real。　Reason　cried　out　one　last　time　that　it　couldn‘t　be；　that　he‘d　picked　her　up　at　the　side　of　the　road　and　had　known　her　for　only　a　brief　span　of　hours。　Emotion　said　that　it　didn‘t　matter。　As　though　observing　the　conflict　in　his　mind；　Pam　pulled　the　halter　over　her　head。　Emotion　won。
‘They　look　just　fine　to　me；‘　Kelly　said。　His　hand　moved　to　them；　touching　delicately。　They　felt　just　fine；　too。　Pam　hung　the　halter　on　the　steering　wheel　and　pressed　her　face　against　his；　her　hands　pulling　him　forward；　taking　charge　in　a　very　feminine　way。　Somehow　her　passion　wasn‘t　animalistic。　Something　made　it　different。　Kelly　didn‘t　know　what　it　was；　but　didn‘t　search　for　the　reason；　not　now。
Both　rose　to　their　feet。　Pam　nearly　slipped；　but　Kelly　caught　her；　dropping　to　his　knees　to　help　remove　her　shorts。　Then　it　was　her　turn　to　unbutton　his　shirt　after　placing　his　hands　on　her　breasts。　His　shirt　remained　in　place　for　a　long　moment　because　neither　wanted　his　hands　to　move；　but　then　it　was　done；　one　arm　at　a　time；　and　his　jeans　went　next。　Kelly　slipped　out　of　his　shoes　as　the　rest　came　off。　Both　stood　for　the　next　embrace；　weaving　as　the　boat　pitched　and　rocked　beneath　them；　the　rain　and　wind　pelting　them。　Pam　took　his　hand　and　led　him　just　aft　of　the　driver‘s　console；　guiding　him　down　to　a　supine　position　on　the　deck。　She　mounted　him　at　once。　Kelly　tried　to　sit　up；　but　she　didn‘t　let　him；　instead　leaning　forward　while　her　hips　moved　with　gentle　violence。　Kelly　was　as　unready　for　that　as　he‘d　been　for　everything　else　this　afternoon；　and　his　shout　seemed　to　outscream　the　thunder。　When　his　eyes　opened；　her　face　was　inches　from　him；　and　the　smile　was　like　that　on　a　stone　angel　in　a　church。
‘I‘m　sorry；　Pam；　I　…‘
She　stopped　his　apology　with　a　giggle。　‘Are　you　always　this　good？‘
Long　minutes　later；　Kelly‘s　arms　were　wrapped　around　her　thin　form；　and　so　they　stayed　until　the　storm　passed。　Kelly　was　afraid　to　let　go；　afraid　of　the　possibility　that　this　was　as　unreal　as　it　had　to　be。　Then　the　wind　acquired　a　chill；　and　they　went　below。　Kelly　got　some　towels　and　they　dried　each　other　off。　He　tried　to　smile　at　her；　but　the　hurt　was　back；　all　the　more　powerful　from　the　joy　of　the　previous　hour；　and　it　was　Pam‘s　turn　to　be　surprised。　She　sat　beside　him　on　the　deck　of　the　salon；　and　when　she　pulled　his　face　down　to　her　chest；　he　was　the　one　who　wept；　until　her　chest　was　wet　again。　She　didn‘t　ask。　She　was　smart　enough　for　that。　Instead　she　held　him　tightly　until　he　was　done　and　his　breathing　came　back　to　normal。
‘I‘m　sorry；‘　he　said　after　a　while。　Kelly　tried　to　move　but　she　wouldn‘t　let　him。
‘You　don‘t　have　to　explain。　But　I‘d　like　to　help；‘　she　said；　knowing　that　she　already　had。　She‘d　seen　it　from　almost　the　first　moment　in　the　car：　a　strong　man；　badly　hurt。　So　different　from　the　others　she　had　known。　When　he　finally　spoke；　she　could　feel　his　words　on　her　breast。
‘It‘s　been　nearly　seven　months。　Down　in　Mississippi　on　a　job。　She　was　pregnant；　we　just　found　out。　She　went　to　the　store；　and　…　it　was　a　truck；　a　big　tractor…trailer　rig。　The　linkage　broke。‘　He　couldn‘t　make　himself　say　more；　and　he　didn‘t　have　to。
‘What　was　her　name？‘
‘Tish　…　Patricia。‘
‘How　long　were　you　…‘
‘Year　and　a　half。　Then　she　was　just　。。。　gone。　I　never　expected　it。　I　mean；　I　put　my　time　in；　did　some　dangerous　stuff；　but　that‘s　all　over；　and　that　was　me；　not　her。　I　never　thought　…‘　His　voice　cracked　again。　Pam　looked　down　at　him　in　the　muted　light　of　the　salon；　seeing　the　scars　she‘d　missed　before　and　wondering　what　their　story　was。　It　didn‘t　matter。　She　brought　her　cheek　down　to　the　top　of　his　head。　He　should　have　been　a　father　right　about　now。　Should　have　been　a　lot　of　things。
‘You　never　let　it　out；　did　you？‘
‘No。‘
‘And　why　now？‘
‘I　don‘t　know；‘　he　whispered。
‘Thank　you。‘　Kelly　looked　up　in　surprise。　‘That‘s　the　nicest　thing　a　man　has　ever　done　to　me。‘
‘I　don‘t　understand。‘
‘Yes；　you　do；‘　Pam　replied。　‘And　Tish　understands；　too。　You　let　me　take　her　place。　Or　maybe　she　did。　She　loved　you；　John。　She　must　have　loved　you　a　lot。　And　she　still　does。　Thank　you　for　letting　me　help。‘
He　started　crying　again；　and　Pam　brought　his　head　back　down；　cradling　him　like　a　small　child。　It　lasted　ten　minutes；　though　neither　looked　at　a　clock。　When　he　was　done；　he　kissed　her　in　gratitude　that　rapidly　turned　to　renewed　passion。　Pam　lay　back；　letting　him　take　charge　as　he　needed　to　do　now　that　he　was　again　a　man　in　spirit。